Paris Diaries

An exhausting but rewarding day. Act II run through in the afternoon, dinner break, then a full run of both acts in costume from 8-11. At the end of it all, my bones felt like lead and my mind could barely function. But today was a definite step forward---somehow, when the lights hit you and one can no longer see the audience (or in this case an empty house), your world becomes smaller and focusing on what is happening directly in front of you---the drama, the other characters--takes on a whole new level of intensity. I think also we have begun to really play on stage---experiment more, and reside in that comfortable place where we aren't as panicked about whether the next entrance will take us unawares or not. The costume changes were much better today---the team of dressers is working together much more effectively....I essentially stand still while my body gets doused with baby powder and my limbs are slid, stuffed, pried and pulled into various latex shells. I still find myself struggling with the restrictive nature of the final suit...the heat is overpowering and the body postures I adopt are taxing. But, all in all...a good day. The lights are shaping and carving the stage, creating moods and dimensions. AJ is doing a great job with this aspect. Kudos to him.

First day in the theatre! The set looks great---the massive window in the back of the loft will allow for so many interesting lighting effects, and the hardwood floor looks fantastic (and why did no one tell me there was a real elevator door? I thought it was all offstage!) It feels like a new beginning after so many weeks in Ivry. Lots of excited energy in the company. For weeks the mantra has been "Well, we won't really know until we see it in the theatre" ..so now...at last...the questions will be answered. Somehow, rehearsal in smaller spaces often equals smaller acting. When your director and production crew are only feet away from you...I find it hard to fully release into the drama. But here, with miles of space to fill, I feel liberated. This is where I know I will be asking for input from David on keeping the reality, the small reality, of what we have created in Ivry. We have worked to create a very believable reality, nothing overblown or overly theatrical, which involves small details and reactions...very much like film. Now, in a big space, we have to figure out how to keep that intimacy and yet fill a large house. Oftentimes it is just the angle of the body, or the way one completes and holds a gesture. Details details. Rehearsal was stumble through as technical aspects were figured out. So much of what we do depends on a host of technical cues coordinating. As ever.

Complete costume fitting! I have one word....HOT. I will have to be doubling or tripling my water intake during the second act just to make it through, and we're talking about having ice packs on the back of my neck to stay cool. Naturally, the fitting took place on the first really hot day we've had...which I suppose will be a good indicator of how it will be onstage with the lights. It is quite an undertaking to get the final suit in place. In my underwear, I'm covered in baby powder to help the suit slide on, which has to take place in under 7 minutes. Stephan has constructed it as all one piece (minus the feet), with zippers up the back, and all fitted exactly to my face (after the casting taken in LA back in April). It is an incredible piece of work. So much loving disgusting and grotesque detail, from the hairs sprouting from my face and head and back, to the deformed feet and elephantine body texture....I am truly impressed. Facial expressions are not readable, so this will be all body acting...my posture and gestures will be my only means to communicate emotions. Quite a challenge, and trying to sing in the hunched over position is going to be a problem. My lower back was aching by the end of it all, so I'll have to find a better way to stand. No one said it would be easy.

Last day in Ivry [Paris suburb where initial rehearsals took place], and I think none too soon for us all. Fare thee well! The added commute time has been somewhat of a hassle each morning and evening, all crammed into vans. But the run today went well. It was important to just see where we were with it, mistakes, fumbles and problems all included. I'm finding the pacing of this role to be the big unanswered question. How will it be with the numerous costume changes, the added physical effort of maneuvering the costume itself, the vocal demands and the emotional intensity of character himself. No way of knowing yet.

What did I think of what I did onstage today...? I feel like things are progressing, but that I am still staying in my comfort level too much, which inevitably leads to simply doing what I did the first time...whatever my first instinct was. Generally speaking....we do what comes easiest, and stay there unless challenged otherwise. But there is still a great deal of nuance and layering to be done. Playing the discovery of the emotion, upping the stakes, making it more personal and not so generic. I have time, but it takes effort and concentration. And some days....I feel lazy:)

The flight didn't work, again. I need to have more sessions on the wires to know exactly how to maneuver on them, how to sing upside down, and how to make it look convincing. But where on the schedule is the time? sigh.

Full day of musical rehearsal with Plácido. Such a relief to have a full day devoted only to the music. It seems inevitable that in the course of staging we develop bad habits both musically and vocally, and this is a chance to recover and relearn and remind. This music is rewarding, but not simple. Rhythmically it is complex, tonally there are some very tricky places...and our tempi shift fairly frequently... (well...mine do...but that's because I can't seem to decide on how I want to sing it yet) He has some really wonderful musical ideas, and his desire to communicate the emotion effectively with the voice first is inspiring. Whenever he demonstrates, his voice is still...*still* so powerful and impressive. It inspires me to sing better each and every time. Howard was also in the rehearsal, which was also helpful---we keep coming up with minor text changes or rhythmic questions that we need to have answered, and having the composer right there is crucial. I admire how willing Howard is to collaborate and change the score to help us. He has strong ideas, but isn't inflexible. Such a rare treat to have the composer right there in the middle of the process.